Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Those Apartment People

Not long ago, the AJC's "blogger" for the new city of Sandy Springs had an article on racism in the suburbs. I wouldn't call it racism per se. But he went on about how the rich Atlanta suburbanites have replaced the old derogatory terms with the term, "Apartment People".

The Apartment People he was writing about were mainly hispanics. But I'll attest that the term really applies to all the people in the apartments. All races are included in that term. I was one of them. I lived among them.

Today I got to yell at the Apartment People. They made me mad. They made me late. They wasted my time. They showed no concern for their neighbors.

You'll know what I mean if you've ever been stuck behind a school bus at an apartment comlex. The children (no younger than middle schoolers - most likely high schoolers) weren't at the road waiting at the 'bus stop'. They were inside the leasing office, 30+ yards from the road. Too chilly for them I guess. They open the door and then they crawl up hill, through the January molasses to the bus. Meanwhile, traffic backs up for eons on this very busy 5 lane road.

They finally board the bus, just moments before my aneurysm can come to fruition. But Lo! Behold! Another apartment dweller appears from the cavernous depths of the complex! AaiaGH!

And another. And two more. And another. And...

All of them taking a leisurely spring, er... winter, stroll through the indigenous asphalt fields. No rush. Not a care in the world.

And another appears. There's a volcano in my car. You can't see it but it's there under the surface. I'm about to go postal. About to let my Grand Theft Auto fantasy run amok in a dark, sadistic outpouring of ...

Another one appears! My car is now a convertible and my lungs are screaming with fiery curses lobbed in the Apartment People's direction. But no one can hear me.

And another one! The only way they'd move quicker to their dreaded prison transport is to trip and fall down.

Not like I've got anything better to do this morning. I'm off to my cube farm as the local byte counter. Not like I'm really late. But this has been going on for 5+ minutes. I know, I started timing their languid embarkment.

I'm shocked by their gall. My momma woulda (and did) snatch a knot in my head had I acted so callously. And the poor bus driver is unable to do anything. They'd be labled a racist for leaving 'my poor child behind in the cold without a coat'.

About 4:30pm the bus finishes loading for school. :p

Nah, they did finish and Mt. Mongrel's eruption was postponed. I got to work and had a very productive day.

I'd rather their mammas kick their kids in the fanny and tell 'em to giddyap. Or maybe even the bus driver pull over to the deceleration lane and turn off it's stop light that part traffic like Moses did the Red Sea.

What is it with some people? What is it with those Apartment People? They're definitely not neighborly. Some of them anyway.